Dealing With The Pressure To Smoke

he advertiser wants you to feel that the best people (which generally means young people, rich people, incredibly handsome and beautiful people, and above all healthy people) smoke his brand. So if you want to "get with 'em," you'd better smoke the advertised brand, too.

"Wait!" you'd better tell him. "I'm smoking one of your other brands! An hour ago you showed me that I could be young, rich, handsome and healthy if I smoked Flubbs. Now you want me to switch to Gribbles. That isn't fair!"

And think about those people in the ads, too. Don't they ever cough? And why do they smile so broadly at the first puff? Do they like that whiff of phosphorous oxides from the end of the match? (Good-you're fighting the fleeting "image" they want you to have: that their cigarettes are pure pleasure.)

And listen carefully to the comparisons. Mac (or the model in the white jacket) will tell you that the tobacco in his cigarette is "purer." Purer than what, Mac? Purer than it was last week? Or purer than the other brands your company makes? Or purer than pure tar? So very pure that the tars in it won't give a mouse cancer?

Be Mean, Do What They Say!

Above all, give them a sporting chance. When your friends say its ok, you should, too. When they describe the myriad joys to be had from cigarettes, it's time for you to take a drag. Hold it for a moment. Don't exhale immediately. Are you getting a little dizzy? Aren't you about to cough? Is this really what your poor throat needs?

Tell Mac. Tell him that the smoke doesn't go down like syrup-it stings like you-know-what. Let's break that image, too. Cigarettes aren't honey and champagne and sweet cider and pure spring water all in one. They burn.

When you hear someone say that cigarettes are great, add a few choice words to them. If Flubbs says that it makes you look mature, you can then volunteer interesting information about the other things cigarettes give you. For example, the fellow who smokes two packs or more a day has a seventy times greater chance of lung cancer, according to one unbiased source, than the man who doesn't smoke anything. Tell them about that-do you think they know it?

When you come to the brands for the filter-tips and the mentholated and the mentholated-with-filter-tips, you'll be at your busiest. For one thing, they make a smoke into something more than a smoke. It becomes an adventure-with sports cars, canoes, high diving, mountain climbing, and all sorts of wonderful things.

So much happens so fast that it's hard to remind the people that while filters are really swell and probably a great improvement, they don't quite catch all those nasty ingredients. They don't even seem to filter out the stuff that makes you cough, snore, and clear your throat. Tell Mac that you're puffing away on a filter-tip right now, and describe your sensations. Do they match his?

If he glowingly describes the frigid qualities of his mentholated brand, you'd better remind him that the smoke entering your mouth is still pretty hot, produced at a burning tip hot enough to char paper and wood. And no matter what, hot smoke raises the temperature of your lips and mouth. "Mac," you should say, "please get the facts straight. I'm beginning to lose faith in you." Poor Mac-you're going to get him confused. But you'll be setting yourself straight.

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